Down the rabbit hole

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Trapped in a can of worms.

As I'm writing this post, half of my brain is dead to the world. It's 9:02AM, and I'm in school for no good reason. NO GOOD REASON. People go to school for school stuff, duh. But I find it funny how… no, I don't find this funny. Scratch that. I find it annoying how I'm practically TRAPPED in this god-forsaken gazebo because of the following:

1. I can't stay at home. See, I went out last night and I've had only about 3 hours of sleep, and my mother is hassling me with her whole "If you miss review class tomorrow (which is today), you're grounded for the whole summer" bit. I'd really, REALLY like to peruse the Bill of Rights for something… ANYTHING that says I have the fundamental right to bury myself in my bed for a few more hours and give my cellphone the finger once the alarm goes off at 6 A-fucking-M. So, I'm screwed either way. If I stay home, I'm grounded. If I go to class, I'm either gonna fall asleep 5 minutes in, or wage an epic battle against it (while looking retarded in my seat) and then fall asleep anyway 10 minutes in.

2. Friends with cars who can save me are still asleep. I think they actually have the copy of the updated Bill of Rights which has a whole section on additional hours of sleep and said hours' protection against MATERNAL BLACKMAIL. I'd wake them the fuck up but I'm not the kind of person who steps on other people's rights just to get what I want. Okay, maybe I am… but if I'm gonna have someone pick me up all the way from here, I should at least not make them cranky, or at least buy them overpriced coffee at a Starbucks. Apparently, I'm also the kind of person who doesn't have any money, hence I am forced (virtually DESTINED) to wait in this god-forsaken gazebo and spend a considerable amount of time marveling at how uncomfortable this stone bench is.

3. The nearest Starbucks might still be closed. Although, even if it were open, I don't think I'm ready to head over there just yet. So help me god, I will fall asleep and they'd probably think I'm a homeless person… who just happens to have a decent sense of style.

So, there. 3 reasons why I'm practically TRAPPED in this predicament. And, right now, out of boredom I thesaurus-ed the word 'predicament'. I'm trapped in a can of worms, guys. Either I find someplace to sleep unquestioned, someone takes me away from here, or I get over my lack of sleep and positivism and pretend to be one of those rich kids who become extra productive in coffee shops.