Down the rabbit hole

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Uncertainty is addictive.

No one goes through life without falling in love - without feeling so much as a little flutter of emotion and attachment for another human being. I guess it’s in our nature to want to ache in someone’s absence, and revel in their presence. If you think about it, that whole rollercoaster ride of polar opposite emotions is addictive. Consistency was never the most alluring feature of love. We like the volatility.

There isn’t a soul out there who could honestly say they’d want to stay on the sad end of the emotional spectrum of the heart. That’s just common sense. What I’m wondering though is if anyone would want to be happy… forever. Imagine that. No yearning. No void to fill. No anger to douse, and no reason to cry. The saying, “To know sadness, is to know happiness.” is as overused as it is truthful. So, let’s behold that truth in the light of love. 

It's an ecstatic plunge into all sorts of happy whenever you're together, then it weighs heavily on your heart as you watch them leave your side at the end of the day. There's that heart-breaking helplessness when they're at a low point, then pride floods you when the universe finally hands them a long-sought after dream. They make you want to pull your hair out during a fight, but you know few things feel better than that first hug after making up. Then there's that near-suicidal state after a breakup, followed by - hopefully sooner than later - the maddening butterfly infestation in your stomach from finally meeting someone new, and plunging right back into romance.

Complacency is a bad rut to get stuck in. It's where passion goes to retire, passively benefit from a regular, "just enough" pension, and develop a fondess for rocking chairs that ease reminiscing of days that were an extra spectrum more vibrant than the 8-bit present. Analogy overload, I know, but you get me.

Keep it crazy. Keep it young. Stay turbulently in love, and enjoy feeling human.


  1. Beautifully written, Anna... And yes, it gets crazy and you get all those various emotions, but then at the end of the day, you do want the volatility over something so... monotonous.

  2. Uncertainty makes you doubt the person you love but then makes you realize that the feeling is real and that he/she is the one for you.