"She Is Love"
No, you idiot. She is NOT all you need. You need to finish school and get a job that'll let you send your kids to college when they're 18, all while feeding your wife's obsession over designer bags, shoes and the Home Shopping Network. That's what you need. But, okay, I see you're happy and your girl seems nice enough. Carry on.
Anyway, I was eating my very sad avocado dinner next to my mom on the couch just a few minutes ago. I said "very sad avocado dinner" because the avocado itself is sad it's not a big, fat juicy steak with mashed potatoes and buttered vegetables on the side. DAMN IT. Sorry, got distracted. Back to my little kwento about my mom. So she was playing Bejeweled Blitz on her iPad. She's obsessed with that game. She has it linked to her Facebook and everything, so I can see her getting cheap thrills whenever she gets high scores. Ain't that cute? I'm happy for my mother dear and her minute attempts at regression. Thing is, she doesn't really know when to stop. As I sat there, omnoming on my sad avocado, watching her play. She stretches her neck from side to side and says, "Ang sakit na pala ng leeg ko." Naturally, I tell her to quit playing coz she's been at the damn thing for the past hour and a half, but she dismisses me by saying, "Hindi, mali lang position ko." Ayos sa denial ah.
No, I'm not gonna use that anecdote to segue into something predictable and terribly cheesy like, "Kahit masakit na, titiisin ko." Coz that would make you and I vomit blood all over the place. I hate sappy, martyr crap like that. Instead, I'd like to talk about being stuck in a rut... coz that's exactly where I am right now.
You know how you do the same things over and over again for quite some time, with your brain on autopilot, just letting things fall where they may, and going with the flow? You don't even feel it at first, and God bless you if you go on with the rest of your life not ever questioning anything, but for most people, the realization that you've been running around in circles comes unexpectedly. Mine came in the dead of night some time ago.
People go on about how sleeping early is good for your health, mental acuity and your skin, but what they don't tell you is sleeping early helps you get away from the negativity that likes to wrap itself around you late at night. It's when things go quiet that your mind wanders to things you normally don't have time to entertain. After all, who has time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and brood? Go ahead and classify these insomniac trains of thought as irrelevant, but you'll be surprised. They're the very things that make you see things differently the morning after.
And now we move on to analyzing the analogy. I have to do this, just in case may kulang sa brain power. We're all in this together, guys.
So, the realization that I've been running around in circles came to me the way my mom realized her endless pursuit of matching colored jewels has strained her neck. And like me telling her to quit it, I actually received a lot of advice from a few friends about my dilemma, telling me to do this and do that. At this point, it's not so much that I'm in denial of my problem, but I think it's more like I realized there was something I was doing wrong, or not doing at all. No one has it easy in life. In the end, it's all about perspective and attitude. Now to figure out what I have to change. Thanks, late-night brooding, for the insight.